Writing with a kid on my lap...

I wanted to write something before our Sunday dinner. Let's see how far I can get. The whole family is here. A little boy with loving eyes refuses to give me any alone time...and I love it.

I'm told that when your life is busy you lose all sense of time. Such is my life. I've had my six hands full for the past several months, and I'm enjoying everything I'm doing. I haven't been very good at posting in my blog, but as I have said several times in the past, I will do my best to remedy that.

I have been spending a lot of time working at the rehab center, where I will become a full-time intervention counselor when my schooling qualifications are met. I will be involved in teaching, too. While the center maintains strict standards for intervention and rehabilitation, it seems that there are loose guidelines at times, mostly because every person who enters the center is an individual. I am understandably excited about the time I'm spending there, and even more excited about the prospect of working there. It's payback time. I've grown fond of a volunteer, who happens to remind me of another volunteer who changed my life, and he says, "I hope to make a difference in one life...one hug at a time." Amen to that.

I'm also involved with a little light reading, such as "Suicidal Tendencies in Adolescents - Knowing the Signs" or other gut wrenching reading. Understandably, I've put this first in my life. I do have time for play, however.

I do get to work from time to time, but I have begun to cherish the weekends. David and I do enjoy our time together, and we recently spent a very cold week at the condo on the beach. He threw another log on the fire, and we snuggled. But there's no fireplace. :D

I spent a week at my father's home in Phoenix before Christmas. We had a very nice visit. His wife insisted on making sure I gained five pounds before I left. I think she achieved her goal.

Christmas was very nice. It was nice to be home for Christmas, as I recall prior years spent at Habitat for Humanity, and in Bali. I had a lot to think about, and I had a lot to be thankful for. Being with family during the Christmas season was a reminder of what Christmas is all about.

I had to deal with a minor eye infection in my right eye recently, which meant I had to wear my glasses. For once in my life I missed my contacts. How do people wear glasses, anyway? I always find myself pushing them up my nose like a geek. I sat behind a boy in sixth grade who spent half his waking hours pushing his glasses up his nose. His name was Artie, and I kept referring to myself as Artie. By the way, Artie is a 22-year-old millionaire now, drawing cartoons for various publications like children's books and advertising media. But I digress...I took eye drops, which I swore I could taste. I deal.

I'm about to become an uncle for the second time. The baby, a girl, is due on January 18. It's hard to think of Ethan as the big brother.

I need to stop writing this. Ethan is on my lap, and we need to go to the bathroom. I haven't forgotten to write. I will do my best to write as often as I can. Thank you for understanding. Is something warm running down my leg? Ethan?

I just went into Myspace, and I couldn't sort it all out. The new format has me completely baffled, so I will make an attempt to do something with my now dormant account soon. I'm not sure if anybody checks Myspace anymore, but I will keep it around.

My time has been taken up with so many things. For once in my life the things that are taking up all of my time are enjoyable ones. I'm happy about that. I will try to fill you in the best I can.

I can remember the attitude and the excuses. I also remember the feeling of helplessness, and how it affects your whole life. I'm talking, of course, about the teenagers in rehab. I can now say that I've seen it from both sides. It isn't easier for me, observing, than it was for me as a participant. My participation will be in the form of support and encouragement. I am so looking forward to the day when I can work with teenagers who are going through exactly what I went through. I walked the same grounds I did several years ago. I've had the opportunity to work with individuals who, like me, threw their lives into the wind, hoping to end up anywhere else but alive. It doesn't surprise me, either, that the majority of these teens are from upper-class income families. When people think about substance abuse rehabilitation, we think about the inner city. That is not the case here. These are the Hollywood brats. The stories they tell go from frightening to the sublime. Some of their stories have a painful familiarity. But I am the one who can look them in their eyes and tell them that I know exactly what they're going through. I believe that will help. I have also developed a rapport with several of the teenagers. I am so grateful for this opportunity to substantiate my belief that I can be useful in this field. The teaching part will be easy. The counseling part will be part bookwork and experience. I've been told to allow the experience to complement the bookwork, but it should never overrule it. I will keep that in mind.

I'll be back in school in January. I'm still sorting out the minor details, such as how many classes and how many hours per day. I will do what I can do.

I also work as much as I can. You might be wondering if I have any spare time at all. I do, but I have been doing a lot of preliminary studying, preparing for school and supplementing what I'm learning at the center. And don't think I never get out of bed not in the mood to deal with people who are angry at the world.

Other than all that, there's little to report. I'm still here. I'm busy, but everything is good. I'll do my best to post when I can. Thanks for reading.

There is a lot going on, and it's all good.

I've been too quiet for too long, and I thought it was time for me to address some things I would like to say.

While I have kept my political views to myself, I want to share my feelings about the election that just passed. My experience in the voting booth was not one envisioned by our founding fathers. My 2008 experience was, for me, a painstakingly carried out process. I carefully reviewed the sample ballot sent to me; I gathered as much information as I could about the individual candidates, and I voted accordingly. This year, however, I ran the axe through the ballot. The promises made became promises broken. I became incensed at how the campaign ads insulted my intelligence, twisting pieces of information, where only the person, who either had blinders on, or was of reduced mental capacity, would believe the rubbish being forced on us during dinner time. I have proudly declared myself an Independent, with a Moderate view. To vote along party lines, as so many of my friends and their families do, is pointless. A very smart and respected man once said to me, "Son, don't take our word for anything. Question what you read and what you're forced to believe. If someone makes a statement that is assumed to be fact, ask where he got the data and how he got it. Our government is made up of smoke and mirrors, and there's a liar and a thief behind every mirror."

My voting trend this year was mostly made with a "red" pen. This country voted for change in 2008, and now I'm a part of the change that never happened. I'm angry and I'm embarrassed. While I was in Bali, it was interesting to hear their take on the "American President, Mr. Obama". One of the most common comments was of his being weak. That idea scares me. For our President to be viewed as weak by other nations scares me. Many of my friends voted for him. If his election were up to them, he'll be a one-term President. But this isn't all about the President.

We all heard about candidate Christine O'Donnell, and her highly publicized stance against masturbation. The people spoke. There's the rub! There truly is a happy ending. Now she's on the Today Show, and she's spewing all over the airwaves. How do we allow this to happen to us in this country of ours? In the meantime, I'm happy to enjoy what is still legal every night, and I know for a fact that every one of my friends is safe...for now. Call it a stroke of luck. I'll sleep soundly beneath my rustling sheets tonight! Sorry to pull this on you. Fini.

Proposition 19 went up in smoke. As you know, in the past I did smoke marijuana. And yes, I did inhale. If I can quote a friend of mine: "How the fuck to you smoke pot without inhaling?" I don't know where the stuff was grown, and I didn't care. I didn't care whether or not there were any dangerous additives sprinkled on it. There are a lot of arguments for and against Prop 19. I, for one, am in favor of the legalization of marijuana. It's not a question of IF; it's a question of WHEN. It will happen in time, and when it does, it will be another bonanza of tax dollars, just like alcohol, cigarettes and gasoline. Go for home grown, and keep your pot dollars in the USA! Makes me glad I don't do it anymore.

Now it's time to blow away the smoke and break the mirrors, so we can deal with the thieves and liars that lurk within our government. Did we? Did we send a message? Or did we simply replace the wolf with a fox? Only time will tell.

Speaking of smoke...I saw a follow-up article about a two-year-old Indonesian boy who smoked up to four packs of cigarettes a day. I saw video on the news, and it didn't look to me as though he was fully inhaling the smoke, but it doesn't matter. I can attest to the youthful smoking in Indonesia. I saw uniformed pre-adolescent boys smoking on nearly a daily basis. I could never smoke that much, nor would I ever want to. Yes, I was introduced to nicotine at a very young age, and it's something I now regret, but I can't go back in time. These children do it because their friends do it, their families do it, and it is so widely romanticized by advertisements geared toward children. I sat on the beach in Bali, and a young boy came down and sat next to me. In the ten minutes he spent next to me, he smoked two cigarettes, drag after drag, as if he were trying to get as much smoke in his lungs as he possibly can. He was a cute boy, around twelve years old, although it's not always easy to tell. He smiled at me, and the conversation was severely limited, due to our lack of control over the other's language. I wondered, or perhaps I hoped that cigarettes were his only vice, as it would only be foolish to believe that marijuana isn't rampant among all Indonesians.

And speaking of Bali, my return to Bali will have to wait for now. But don't dismay. This is because I am going back to school in January. I am returning to UCLA, taking Adolescent Psychology courses. I have set my sights on education of rehabilitating teens, on both a one-to-one and class platform. I have been offered an internship at the very rehab center that turned my life around. I happened to meet one of the advisors, and I agreed to return for a visit. They asked if I would talk to some of the youth in treatment. I spoke in the same room where I attended group therapy sessions, and where I got involved in so many fights, I was threatened with expulsion. As I spoke, I could swear I heard a very familiar shuffling of feet coming down the hall. For all I know it could have been someone sliding a box across the floor, or possibly a broom, but that sound meant so much to me. Call it an epiphany. After several conversations via phone, email and in person, I was offered another opportunity of a lifetime. There was no thinking about it. I am excited about this, and it is the answer to thousands of prayers. I have spent several days observing. I should drop the flag of caution, as this is not cast in stone. I'm there, and they are watching me. I'm not being pessimistic, just cautiously optimistic.

My life lately has been non-stop, but everything that has me going at top speed is better than the last. I am working, but I'm not dragging. I find myself singing, and David has said that he has never seen me this upbeat, except for one certain evening when I first met him. My mother is certain I have lost my mind. "Oh my gosh, Michael, you made your bed! What's wrong, Sweetie?"

Sweetie?

Rob will be returning from Indonesia soon, if he hasn't returned already. He will have a lot to say about the effects of Merapi, the earthquake and the tsunami. His brief email to me said little more than "We sure could use you now!"

Besides doing a lot of work for my church, observing at the rehab center, working and making plans for the future, I'm still able to enjoy helping my brother in his restoration project of his 1953 Buick. Ethan is all over the place, talking and being the perfect little boy. We'll see how things change when his little sister is born.

I'm off today. I'm not going anywhere. David is off tonight, so we'll be able to spend some time together. I wonder what tomorrow's specials will be. Maybe I'll sing them to the customers.

This brings up my final topic, which has had me intrigued for nearly two weeks. Have you seen the video of "A Trip Down Market Street, 1906"? Here is a link to the best site (CBS) if you haven't seen it. Watch it now, and come back to what I have to say about it. I would enjoy reading your comments.

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504803_162-20019755-10391709.html


This is by far the best quality and most intact of the videos I've seen. Morley Safer gives a good introduction. The music is hauntingly beautiful and fitting. The scene, with the people darting every which way, and the automobiles circling around the cable car, was staged. This video was intended to be a travel movie, showing the bustling city of San Francisco in the new century. Little did these people know, many of them would fall victim of the great earthquake and subsequent fire. I have been on that very street, and to see it at a time when my great-grandparents were small children, blows me away.

Ever since I saw THIS video I've been taken in. Wow! Imagine. 104 years ago, just like I'm there. I'm looking at the people, and I'm comparing my life today to how they lived. How many times have I wanted to go back in time, to a time long before I was born! I would probably get sick, as so many of our modern conveniences are not in existence yet, such as refrigeration and water purification. Many, if not most, cooked on wood or coal stoves. Their houses had no central heat, and there was no air conditioning. Life moved at a walking speed. If you needed to go far away, you could take the train, and in a few short days you could be as far as San Diego! But it's a totally different society.

Everyone was dressed up. Was that part of the show? Everyone wore a hat, even the newsboys. These dirty little street rats, hawking their newspapers, ran around the cable car with their dirty hands and dirty faces, with the biggest smiles the Twentieth Century ever knew. They all wore leather boots. They'd flip to see what I have on my feet. In the absence of cell phones, iPods, computers or TV, there were table games and sports. Radio was just coming into being. There were no cross-country telephone calls...if you had a telephone. In the absence of antibiotics and modern medical facilities, kids died of mumps, measles, chicken pox, flu, pneumonia and polio. A simpler time? In some ways, yes. But things are leaps and bounds more simple for us today. Everything is done for us. Everything is automatic. Simplicity through complexity and technology, perhaps. The sight of a novelty, such as a movie camera, might attract the same attention today, or would it?

We've encountered one particular boy most of the way. He's the one who keeps running ahead of us, his jacket a bit too short. He held on to the back of one of the automobiles, stood in front of the cable car, and then ran. It must be hard to run in those boots. As he and the cable car reach the Ferry Terminal, he turns around. There's a smile on his face, and a look of accomplishment, and that made me smile. His face has been recorded for far longer than he ever dreamed. Did you notice the man with the long beard in the background? And the kids, the newsies, steal the final scene. I couldn't help but smile at their reaction, but also feel a bit saddened, not only to know what lay ahead for them within a few days, but also the simple truth that they're all gone now. And even 104 years ago, kids were kids. And little did any of them know, that a century later, we'd be watching...from the other side of the looking glass.

I saw the doctor. I'm fine, but...

I know some of you were concerned that something is wrong, but I assure you everything is OK. I went to the doctor and got tested for everything from AIDS to Zinc. All results were good, except for some low readings on iron and potassium and other things that mean very little to me. I got large (about 2 1/2 inches long) waxy pills wrapped in foil. They are hard to swallow, so I chew them. Yuck!

Let's let that cook for a while.

I'm annoying my mother. My sister is ready to send me back into my mother's womb. I'm normal. But seriously, I have to take mega doses of supplements and put a cortisone solution on a suspicious rash on my right leg. The rash is gone. My blood pressure was low, along with my weight. I haven't weighed myself but my clothes fit better now. I return in three weeks for more blood work.

I didn't get a definitive diagnosis. It could have been the change in diet, or it could have been a reaction to a type of fish I ate, or anything else I was eating. Even the water could have done it. I can't imagine a place that is such a paradise could have anything that would make a person sick.

I asked the doctor about my return to Bali. He said he'd make that decision after I get the results of my blood work in three weeks.

The bottom line is that I was told to rest, eat right, don't work so much, and try to do things I enjoy doing. David and I will be off this weekend, and we are looking forward to a weekend at the condo. The days are pleasant and the nights are cool. It's perfect for some rest and relaxation. Doctor's orders!

I am also planning to visit my father before Thanksgiving.

I'm sorry for not posting sooner, and I'm sorry this isn't any longer, but dinner is ready. I have promised myself to sit down, gather my thoughts and post a better organized blog. In the meantime I will be doing my best to relax over the next three days. I can do this. :)

A personal thought...

While I haven't been blogging as much as I had been, I wanted to send a personal thought to the world.

I think the human body is beautiful. Even when I think a particular body is horribly abused and out of shape, somebody, even God, will love it. I know someone who has a nice body. I really care about this person. I discovered his pay webcam by accident. Yes, he has a great body. As much as I'd love to see that body in its entirety, I wouldn't pay for it. I have someone, but I still care about this person very much. It's OK with me if he does this. My only problem is that I hope he doesn't take it too seriously. Most of his clients will be men in their 40's, 50's... and they will all claim to own him while they're paying to watch him masturbate or do whatever he does. While I've broken away from this person, I'm still very much emotionally attached to him. If it weren't for David, and if I lived in another part of the country, I might have gotten closer to him. I don't want to see him get hurt. I'm protective of people like him. And there was a time when I gave my own private shows, but it led me deeper into the pit of substance abuse, and the outcome was nothing to brag about.

This person doesn't know I saw him, but someday I'd like to tell him. It might make me feel better having told him that I don't want him to get hurt. Besides, I don't think the pay is all that great.

Two months coming up / missing post

I want to make this quick blog post before I get moving this morning.

It has come to my attention that only two postings have been successfully posted in this blog since I arrived in Bali. Somehow a blog is missing, and I don't have it backed up anywhere. I will deal with that at a later time. Some of what I am about to write was in that post.

I am heading back to Los Angeles on Monday. I expected this due to a visa limitation as I near my two month mark. I will be home for one month, and at that time I will make the final decision as to whether or not I am returning. At the present time I am confident that I will be returning. I was given options for alternatives to returning to Los Angeles, but the month back home will be most welcome. My hair, which I finally cut short for the trip, is not so short anymore, and the haircut I got by a very beautiful local woman was not as beautiful as she is. I look a lot less like a sheepdog but more like a poodle. And as for any photos you might encounter online, I have sworn to disavow any knowledge of their existence.

For the most part I have been working with adults in Conversational English, but should I decide to return, I will be working with children. I have enjoyed my fellow volunteers, the teachers and the students. Pastor Rob is here, but he is leaving next week. I believe this is his fifth visit here, and he's looking forward to his sixth around the time I return. Rob and his church have made a lot of the arrangements for flights and guesthouse accommodations.

I hope to make another post before I go home. I don't want to lost another post, so I will see how this works.

Always in a rush...

MJM

A long-overdue update.

I'm sorry for the delay in posting in this blog. I have been experiencing a lot of problems getting to my email and to Blogger. I have attempted to reply to emails but I don't get any confirmation of email sent. I have been experiencing a very slow response time at best. I consider myself fortunate in that I was able to connect tonight, only through extreme patience and perseverance. I was able to read about half of my emails, but I have also kept them in my inbox to read again in the evening.

All is going well. My schedule is completely flexible, but I am enjoying doing what I can, and I have been able to stick to a routine, which is appreciated by the class. I am enjoying the teaching I've been doing, and the free time has been wonderful. I am enjoying the beach...still haven't taken the surfing lessons I have been promised, but I will do that before I leave.

David's last day is Thursday. I tried to enter a post stating that David would not be here for the entire four months, but I was unable to post it. His being here has made this paradise truly paradise. He has provided me with the support I needed when I was feeling down. I have had a few down days, but this is due to my being so far away from home. Fortunately, however, the down days are few and not long lasting.

I knew I had gotten into a routine the day David asked me if I was going to post in my blog, and I said that I had nothing new to report. That isn't quite true. We have done some fishing, and we got to meet some of the local fishermen. As you would imagine, fish is a staple here; so is rice. In other words, their fish is like our chicken. You can cook it so many ways, but I want to make this perfectly clear, folks. It doesn't taste like chicken.

I will need to look up a recipe for a salad we had. It was cold, and it had rice, some vegetables of varying color, and chunks of fish. It was almost like a seafood salad that we might buy at Ralph's, but I have not been able to find a Ralph's here. I heard a rumor that McDonald's serves Big Macs made out of fish. Um...no. I wonder what they serve at KFC!

There are a lot of Chinese, or what urbanites call "Asian" restaurants. Some of the local dishes are difficult to identify, but I had a grilled fish that was wrapped in banana leaves and had a salty seasoning on it. It was served with a fried rice side dish with lumps of fish in it. It was very good. Once back in LA I will see what I can find, but David has already sent recipes back to the restaurant for testing. Can't wait!

We found it interesting that Balinese restaurants that serve Balinese food are nearly non-existent. Ginger, sesame seed oil, pepper, cloves, onion, lemon and cumin are favorite flavorings that will surely please your discriminating palate and offer your senses a feel for the flavors of paradise. One bite and you can feel the warm tropical breezes of the beaches of Bali. Sound good? I might use that when I announce the Balinese Grilled Snapper special. I hope it works in Los Angeles! However...armed with recipes and cooking tips, you Angelinos will want to keep your eyes open for some new specials. I hate burping ginger.

I am still scheduled to leave in mid-November, date uncertain right now. I haven't gotten tired of the boring weather and scenery yet. But what I wouldn't do for some prime rib!

I mentioned to someone that our accommodations are small, about 12 X 20, not much bigger than an RV, but it is comfortable and quiet. It will be much quieter after Thursday, but I'm trying not to think about that.

Rob should be here next week. I wonder what kind of entrance he'll make. He won't be far from here, so I look forward to some of his stories and a few laughs. And as I've learned, it only gets better.

That's it for today. I want to be over at the classroom by 10:30 and my ride will be here shortly.

Peace!